I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
