even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
