ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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