you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
