so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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