you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
