During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
