all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
