pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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