dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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