You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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