The maid of honor just puked.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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