"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
