How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize