Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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