we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
