Can Purell be used as lube?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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