hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She needs sedatives and a leash
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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