So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
