I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
