For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have post one night stand depression
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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