She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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