my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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