It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
