I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
