Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All the doctor said was why
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
