i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize