i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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