I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
