she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
