How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
