Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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