I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
