The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize