Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
