Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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