So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
