My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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