Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
