Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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