I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
do herpes really smell.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't put those talents on a resume
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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