Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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