my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
