why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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