Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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