I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
