is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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