And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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