Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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