Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The beer is more important than you right now.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
