I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize