Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
