so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
