I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
