I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
