we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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