wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
