It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
